Killing With Kindness.

There is something in the air. I wish my life felt ripe with Holiday goodness, as it should, right now, but there is something about Finals Time that does not sit well with me.

Despite the Christmas tree twinkling in the corner, I feel tense energy all around me. That's the thing when your husband is in grad school and gone until midnight many moons in a row. Or the thing about living off student loans that inevitably dwindle as semesters come to an end. Or the thing about just being ready to go home for Christmas. Eventually, you (or rather me) start feeling like a crazy lady who yells at her kids a lot. Said kids start acting like crazy-kid demons, mostly because kids have the most exacting Stress Radar in the world. It's scientifically proven* that kids collect all stress-hormones expelled from their parents souls and instantaneously convert them into either silliness, annoyingness, whinyness or sleeplessness. 

During Nic's Summer Finals he has a seizure during a Final and woke up alone on the floor of the library. Not awesome.

During Spring Finals I, like a hobo, had to get a tooth pulled. Then my dentist, like an idiot, left the roots in my gums which later required oral surgery. Not awesome. (Except for the part about my Mom coming out to take care of us, that was pretty awesome.)

And this time last year I just didn't know what to expect. I was lonely for familiarity and didn't expect Finals to feel so intense. I'm the kind of girl/wife that takes care of myself. If I need help I'll ask Nic for a hand, but most the time I've got it. But having Nic so (rightfully) pre-occupied made me realize what a crappy single Mom I'd be. 

This time of year last year was also the time I mocked the Salvation Army's "Doing the Most Good" catch-phrase. Remember that? Well I did and it came back to haunt me:

Near the end of Finals last year I got my car stuck in the snow on the way to dropping the kids off for school. Now the thing you need to realize is I NEVER drive in the snow, I have driving-in-snow-phobia. My worst nightmare is being forced to compete on Ice Road Truckers. But living out here I had no choice, and then I got stuck and then I was blocking the entrance to the townhouse complex. The kids were late and Adam was covered in flour (because Scarlett had dumped out a bag for him to play with during breakfast, obviously.) It was horrible and despite my common practice of not crying in front of people I kinda broke down...

A neighbor took the kids to school and some men worked to unstick my car, I was just ready to leave it there until Spring. Suddenly out of nowhere a giant Salvation Army truck pulled up and the people in it magically unglued my car from the ice and drove it home for me. 

A half hour later I got a text from my friend Stephanie that went something like "Not to make you feel bad or anything but did you notice who saved you? Maybe they read your blog :)"

It made me laugh and feel a little bit better.

That night the girls came home from school with "These AWESOME new prizes and water bottles!!!!" They were so excited about them and the awesome guys that gave them to them! When I saw all of their new Salvation Army swag I almost died.

 I texted Stephanie-

Me: "Oh my gosh! Did you see the water bottles?"

Her: "Yes! I almost died. I was going to say something but didn't want to make you feel worse!"

Me: I'm starting to think they really do read my blog and are trying to kill me with kindness. 

(Which by the way would be a much better slogan "The Salvation Army- Killing you with Kindness" I'd donate to that organization any day.) 

P.S. When I put things in perspective I do realize how lucky we really are to have the stresses we do. And in that spirit I too am going to start "Killing people with Kindness (for the Holidays!)" Whenever I start feeling stressed and overwhelmed I will bake some cookies for neighbors, or find some old people to help across the street or something. I really do love this time of year and feel so much gratitude for my slice of life.

*It is not scientifically proven. That was a lie.