The Chronicles of Minivan: A Christmas Story (mostly)

Polite smiles for "fake" Santa.

Part VII

I've always wanted to watch an odometer turn over to 100,000 miles. That has always seemed like a realistic ambition for me. It requires very little effort on my part, in fact mere observation is the only requirement for such a feat.  

In August just a few miles outside of Lincoln, Nebraska we observed that milestone with our storied Minivan. The moment was celebrated with a quick tweet and an even quicker photo-op. Although we were less than an hour away from home, we'd already been in the car for over 12-hours and those last minutes were dragging on indefinitely...Eventually we pulled up to our townhouse and into our second year in Omaha.

After climbing hills and trekking across the plains our Minivan emitted a slightly burnt odor as we unloaded our Summer vacation. But here's the thing with old cars, you don't ever complain as long as they keep running. Beggars can't be choosers my friends. It could have smelt like smelly, old ladies or garbage sandwiches and I'm not allowed to complain because at least she got us home (and back, again.) 

(And if my current calculations are correct our $1800 investment has translated to about .06 cents per mile. Not bad.) 

Part VIII

It has been really cold in Omaha this week. So cold the girls have been wearing their furry hats daily. Every morning we shiver in our ice-box of a Minivan as we wait for the archaic defroster to reach the parts of the windshield my stubby arms can't reach.  Sometime around Tuesday our predominantly used sliding door stopped opening. As is the case with a van like ours, I couldn't tell if it was a mechanical problem or an environmental one (like ice) that was causing the jammed door. But such as is the case with a person like me, I didn't do anything to investigate said jamming. Instead we just stopped using that door and started using one of the other 3 available exits. 

The cold air has only added to the girls Holiday excitement. They love this time of year! They love giving gifts and making cookies. Sledding, snowmen and Santa Clause! They love our family elf, Ned. Oh and Scarlett will not stop talking about all the things 1/2 elves, like herself, do this time of year. It melts my heart every time she passes out a business card. 

Friday night Ruby's friend informed her that the Santa at the ward party was a "fake." Now, I know the time is coming that the girls will soon no longer believe in Jolly Old Saint Nick. They have friends, cousins and peers that no longer believe in the magic. They're smart girls, they see the signs that the magic is missing some logistics. But you can tell right now, despite what they other kids say, they still really want to believe in it all. They still want to live in a world of magic elves and flying reindeer.

As we cruised home from the party along I-80 Scarlett flat out asked me "Mom, do you put the presents under the tree?"

I tried my favorite diversion tacit "What do you think?" 

To which she responded "I don't know Mom! Just tell me! Do you put the presents under the tree or not!?!"

Her childhood flashed through my mind as I tried to figure out the right answer- one that wasn't a lie, yet left Christmas magic intact. I drew a blank and started with- 

"Weeellll. Do you want to know what the most magical thing about Santa is?" when suddenly- WHOOSHH!!!! ALL THE LIGHTS INSIDE THE VAN TURNED ON AND THE VAN DOOR FLEW OPEN GOING 60MPH!!!! 

I screamed!

The girls screamed! 

It was a Christmas Miracle!!!! 

We were all so terrified as we pulled off at the next exit, that the girls had forgotten all about Santa and the presents. I know that the girls aren't going to believe for much longer- but I would love if they could have just one more sugarplum laced, anticipation-filled Christmas Eve sleep before they have to grow up. And maybe I have my crappy old minivan to thank for that. 

Parts I-VI